Last monday we had interviews with president. I am SO grateful! First we talked about the incident with my old comp and he promised that it will bless my life in some way. He said, "I want you to know that I have complete trust in you and the Lord has complete trust in you. You aren´t training just because your companion left and we didn´t have anyone else. Your companion leaving has nothing to do with the fact that you are trianing right now. I had you pegged as a trainer for 5-6 weeks. I´ve had your picutre next to different newbies for 5-6 weeks!" I was seriously shocked. I have kind of felt that I am only training for that reason... like a default. I told him that I dont´feel like I have anything to teach my new comp (because she is amazing!) and he said "You have LOADS to teach her! Start with the very basics of missionary work and teach her everything you know!" Then he asked if I had any questions and I whipped out my map and my plans for the Area Box and said yes! We talked about my ideas and he gave more solutions and now I am so ready to work!
Man there are lots of struggles here in the mission. I don´t know if I´m doing something wrong or if the Lord is still testing our faith... but we aren´t finding ANYONE to teach! We are praying studying preparing planning organizing... and still nothing! Not only that but every day all our lessons are falling. All our progressing investigators are no longer progresing... We´ve just got a blank board. Satan is telling me it is my fault and perhaps someone else should be training... but I sure hope this is just a trial of my faith! I am constantly thinking of what more we can do... I go to sleep thinking about it... dream (and talk in my sleep) about it...and it´s the first thought that crosses my mind in the morning! There has GOT to be something missing... I just can´t figure it out!
Today started our the same as yesterday... we are fasting so all the rejection and rejection and rejection felt even worse. We are giving it ALL we´ve got! Why aren´t we having success??
We had a lesson with Jendry.. her dad and two uncles and cousins are getting baptized on the 25th so we are trying to commit her to do so with them! We are PRAYING that she decides to!
Then we tried and tried and tried to have lessons but we had nothing. Finally the last appointment of the day was with a former investigator at Hermana Julia´s... but he didn´t show. So she said "I have someone you can teach!" And left to get them. It was a family of a mom and her two kids and they were so receptive and all three accepted baptimal dates! It´s amazing to see the Lord´s hand... if the former investigator had come we wouldn´t have had this opportunity!
Today was another blessed day of nuevos! Today we found FIVE new investigators! For weeks we had nothin and then in two days we found EIGHT! What a miracle.. three were references from a member... one was an LPE... and the other was a young girl named Jesica that we just taught in the street! Tomorrow is my birthday and today I realized that next month... the END of the month but still.. I hit my six month mark!! That means only a year left! I can´t believe it.
Feliz cumpleanos! Wowee can yáll believe I am twenty years old?? I feel so wise and mature... ha. I need to start acting my age :) I have been thinking a LOT these week about how I want to truly CHANGE in the mission. I don´t want to come home the same person... I truly want to change! And I don´t have much time left to do so!
My birthday was awesome... I didn´t complete the costa rican tradition where they break eggs on your head and throw flour at you... but I DID have a great day! I ate pancakes that were really just a chocolate cake mix that I made on a stove... and I opened the BEAUTIFUL package from my family! Everything was so perfect... ant traps... stickers and gifts for the kids... a watch and an outfit... I loved it! I am SO grateful for my family that is so thoughtful and loving. I love them!!! (and I was just a little homesick) :)
Then we went to Grama Nuria´s for lunch and it was the best! THey bought me a cake and a candle and sent pics to mom on FB. Then we went to work in Los Dorados... how did we choose there? Well.. we prayed together to know where to go then had some time to ponder and pray and we each wrote down where we felt then compared and Los Dorados was the answer! So we went and searched and searched.. there were only three people in the street and no one was interested. So we visited three Marc that we knew of and one said that it´s awesome that we caught him because today he randomly decided to not go to school! Then we headed to gravilias to visit an LPE that said we could... but he wasn´t home. His mom was and it turns out she is a former investigator! We taught her that visited the member that lives next door. Her granddaughter was there that is a menos activo and we helped her decide to come back to church! Today our work didn´t really result in baptisms... but It is amazing how the Lord truly puts us in the places wehre His children need us most! I am so grateful to be a missionary and see the Lord´s hand working every day!
Also H.Garcia bought me ice cream and gave me a card and Lidilia who washes our clothes bought me chocolates and a pura vida bracelet! What a beautiful birthday!
Man. In the mission we have lots of responsibilities. I feel like I literally have the salvation of souls in my hands. It is hard sometimes to really know how to be a good missionary EVERYDAY. It´s hard to know what to do every day and how to have success every day. Today we didn´t have any really firm plans so we wrote "MILAGROS" in the spaces. And basically we just ended up walking around. It was 7:30 and no one was in the street so we went to the park and had lessons on the pohone. I feel SO bad. I don´t like being a trainer for that reason... So many times I have no idea what to do and I don´t feel the revelation coming from the Lord. I need to depend more in him and learn to recognize his promptings!
Today we had such great plans... solid plans!! And they all fell. And no investigators came to church... All of our miracles of the week? Nothing has come of them... half won´t answer the phone or open the door and the other half says they don´t want to listen to us. I don´t get it... where are all the people in the stories that are actually prepared and want to change and sacrifice to come to church and read the book of mormon! I can´t figure out if it is my fault.. if I´m doing something wrong... or if it is just a trial of my faith. We went to lunch with a sister that served a mission and she told us so many cool stories... I just about cried... I feel like if I were to go home now... I´d have no good stories to tell. I have three baptisms... but not a single one is coming to church. What am I doing wrong to not have these experiences?
After lunch a man on the street started yelling "BE MORMON AND BE HAPPY" at us.. I was afraid. THen he sang three verses of Jose´ph Smiths first prayer. Ha at last he told us he is menos activo and so we went to his house to teach him outside. He talked forEVER and introduced us to EVERY person that passed... saying he was giving us good contacts :) When we FINALLY finished the lesson we started talking with a Jehovah´s witness in the street and asked if she knew anyone we could visit and she said "someone from your church lives right there"... so we visited him.. fernando.. and turns out he is a menos activo of like two years and he was SO happy to see us! He made us food and asked if we had a Book of Mormon and just about cried when I said "CLARO!" and gave him one. Once again... we didn´t find nuevos... but the Lord is guiding us to find the people that need us.
It is such a battle in the mind... President says the hardest work for a missionary is the fight in his own mind... and it is so true! I am discouraged about not finding nuevos and not knowing what to do about our area... I´m frustrated because of all of these things yet I know the Lord is guiding us! I know there ARE people prepared! I know that we can find them... and any advice from returned missionaries and other wise people like my mother and sisters is more than welcome.
I am so grateful to be a missionary. Thank you for your prayers. Keep em comin ;) I love you all so much and just LOVE you.
|No words needed. . .|
|Birthday Pancakes! It's just a chocolate cake mix on a stove.|
|Sister Garcia loves her new scarf!|
|20 Years Old! LOVED the package:)|
|Grama made me a cake.|
|This is Lucas. He is adorable!!|
|This is the Hermana that cleans our clothes. She gave me chocolate for my birthday.|
|Sporting the new outfit!|
|The scarf is from a Sister in the ward. Yes my tag is upside-down.|